Chapter 5 / Kickin' It: JPL Jim
“Framestreaming live from KCSB studios high atop Storke Tower at UCSB, it’s time for Kickin’ It with Bob & Beth.”
We see a pale man seated wearing a dented and scratched brown fedora on his mousy brown hair. A bow tie is visible above the collar of his half-buttoned brown tweed jacket. Seated at the other end of the almost-shiny, V-shaped desk is a freckled, red-haired woman, about the same age, but taller. They both look serious,but the smile crinkles around their eyes suggest they normally have a lighter emotion on their respective faces.
“And in science news today, Beth, astronomers have noticed what they say may be only the third interstellar object to enter our solar system.”
“What’s an interstellar object, Bob?”
“Uh … inter means ... into … stars? Are you into stars, Beth?”
“Kind of … I like the up-and-coming folks who aren’t stars yet but have potential. I like that Angelica Harris in the alien movie that’s coming out. She makes a really good-looking scientist. Not to objectify ... but if there ever was an interstellar object...”
“Hold on, Beth — they’re making faces at me off-camera here. It appears they want you to ask me that question again.”
“Okay, um … what’s an interstellar object, Bob?”
“Good question, Beth. To get that answer, we went to speak with Jim Brosnan, of Caltech’s Jet Propulsion Labs.”
Into the small studio walks a narrow White man about 5 feet 6 inches tall with a salt-and-pepper walrus mustache and thinning gray hair. He is wearing khaki slacks and has wire-rimmed glasses tucked beside a pencil in the pocket protector of a plaid short-sleeved shirt.
“Good afternoon, Jim. How are things at JPL these days?” Bob asks.
“Hi Bob, we’re pretty excited. The first time we saw one of these was almost 50 years ago.”
“One of what, Jim?”
“An interstellar object in the solar system.”
“Oh, right. And Jim, how many since then?”
A bemused look on his face, Jim says, “Just one other until now, Bob. This one is the third. Oumuamua in 2017 and 2I/Borisov in 2019. And then this new one is the third.”
“So, it’s been a while, Jim? And what are these objects? Comets?”
“Well, that’s what we believed at first about Oumuamua. But comets — and asteroids, which many believed Oumuamua to be — have all originated in our solar system, have predictable paths, and are, you know, roundish. Also, they speed up as they approach the Sun due to the Sun's enormous gravitational pull, and they slow down on their journey back into the outer reaches of the solar system.”
“So, the Sun pulls these things in?”
“Yes”
“How does the Sun do that, Jim?”
“Uh, gravity.”
“Oh, you mean, like what makes things fall here on Earth?”
“Exactly, Bob”
“But I understand that these things don’t actually fall onto the Sun. Have I got that right?”
“Yes, you do, Bob. Exactly right. You probably don’t want me to explain the intricacies of orbital mechanics right now, though.”
Beth looks up, “Oh, that would be okay. I do need a good mechanic. My Twee-D trike is not so speedy right now. But I don’t think we get to advertise anyone on this newscast, unless they’re a sponsor. Are they a sponsor, Jim?”
“Um, I really don’t…”
“That’s okay, here’s my number. You can give me a call after the show.”
Bob says, “Beth, we need to get on with the whole interstellar thing.”
“Right, sorry. Go on, Jim. But...” Beth holds her hand up to her cheek, little finger and thumb extended, in the universal ‘call me’ hand signal.
“Yes Jim, please go on,” says Bob.
“Well, to make a long story short, Oumuamua did not look or behave like a comet. It had no tail, it sped up as it moved away from the Sun, it was going much too fast to have originated inside our solar system, and from what we could see of it, it was ten times as long as it was wide— not like a comet at all.”
“Jim, I’ve heard it described as cigar-shaped. Would that be like a Cuban cigar, or a cigarillo, or…?”
“Just long instead of round, Bob. We never got a really good look at it.”
“I see. So, what was the scientific consensus, Jim?”
“Yes, well some people thought…” Jim clears his throat, “that it might have been an alien visitor.”
“An alien?!” says Bob, his words coming quickly, now. “What do you think, Jim?”
“I really don’t know, Bob. Not enough data to go on, really.”
“But what do you really think? Aliens? Do you think they were aliens, Jim?”
“Not enough data to really tell if it was from an alien civilization. Frankly, if it had aliens on it, they were almost certainly long dead. The most likely guess is that they — er, it — came from 50 light years away, in the direction of the constellation Lyra.”
“Wow. That’s really far, right?”
“Really far, Bob. Then the next one…”
“The next what, Jim?”
“The next interstellar object, Bob. It was noticed first by an amateur astronomer in Crimea named Gennadiy Borisov. So, it was named after him.”
“Hold on. Isn’t Crimea part of Russia? Aren’t they an enemy of our great nation?”
“Not really, Bob. There’s still a dispute over Crimea. It was ceded back to Ukraine after much pressure from countries around the world, but things are still unsettled. And there’s some tensions with Russia yet, but that’s not my area of expertise. Science is science, and most scientists from around the world are very happy to share our knowledge and…”
“Even with the enemy, Jim?”
“Bob, that’s really not my area. I talk about astrophysics — stars, suns, that kind of thing.”.
“Right, so this second one — the Russian one…”
“Not Russian, Bob. It’s just a thing in space, discovered by a Crimean.”
“So, who owns it, Jim? The Russians?”
“Nobody owns it — it was discovered by Borisov in 2019, but it was going much too fast to capture it, even if we could.”
“We can capture a comet, Jim?!”
“Not so far Bob. But anyway, that was the second one. It was clearly a comet. It behaved like a comet; it had a tail 14 times the size of the Earth.”
“I understand that’s quite large, is it, Jim?”
“Yes, Bob, very large. But not very mysterious, unlike Oumuamua. But now, after more than four decades with no more interstellar objects passing through, there’s another on its way.”
With a conspiratorial almost-whisper to his voice, Bob asks, “How do you know that, Jim?”
“Well, we’ve been improving our telescopes since the first one.”
“The first one. Wasn’t that Galileo, Jim?”
Looking surprised, Jim says, “No Bob, not the first telescope, the first interstellar object. Although I’m impressed you know about Galileo.”
“I’m a journalist, Jim. That’s my job. So, what happened then?
“An improved telescope at the same location in Haleakala, Hawaii, where Oumuamua was spotted on its way out has spotted a new one on its way in. Also coming from the direction of the Lyra constellation. Also going really fast.”
“How fast, Jim?”
“Like a bat out of Hell, Bob.”
“Wow. That’s fast.”
“It is, indeed. It’s also not round. It also has no tail.”
“So, no coincidence?”
“We don’t actually know, Bob. But we’re keeping a very close eye on it.”
“Jim, could this rock, or comet, or ship hit our planet?”
“Its current trajectory doesn’t show it doing so.”
“You said ‘its current trajectory’ Jim. Could its current trajectory change?”
“Well, not if it acts like any other asteroid or comet.”
“But what if it doesn’t? Are you being straight with us, Jim? What if it behaves entirely differently?”
“We don’t have any indication of that, Bob.”
“Jim, if this ship hits the Earth, could it be another extinction event, like Chicxulub, the asteroid impact they say was responsible for wiping out the dinosaurs…”
“Again, you surprise me with that knowledge, Bob!”
“…and the cavemen?”
“And now I am no longer surprised.”
“But if it does hit the Earth, it would kill all the aliens inside it, isn’t that right, Jim? Isn’t that the silver lining?”
“Bob, there’s no evidence it has aliens, and if there were they would most assuredly have died long ago.”
“So, you’re saying maybe. You’re saying it’s possible...”
“Bob, please, I’m not saying that at all. I am personally unconcerned about aliens or extinction events.”
“Okay, okay. Has anyone named it yet, Jim?”
“Actually, yes, a Hawaiian name again. Its name is Ukali, which translates more or less to ‘follower’ in English.”
“Follower, that’s a funny name for a rock, isn’t it, Jim?”
“Well, the other one came seemingly out of the same area of the galaxy.”
“So, the earlier one, Oumuamua, was from the same aliens?”
“It’s just a name, Bob. No aliens.” Bob makes a show of pulling something out of his pocket and looking at it. “Say, that’s my pager — I've gotta go. Thanks for having me on.”
“But Jim, I’ve got a few more … well, he’s no fun, he walked right out the door!”
Beth says, “That’s so strange, Bob. You’d think a high-tech guy like that would have some wowie-zowie tech. A pager?”
“I do wonder if he was being entirely straight with us, Beth. But speaking of straight, here’s a word from our straight-talking sponsor, Clairol, who has just picked up a new line of what they’re calling Mood Hair. It was developed by a local UCSB scientist, Hedwig Monaghan. If your hair could speak, what would it say, Beth?”
“Old hair is duller; Mood Hair gives it color. Express with the best. Ooo! Mood Hair!”